Reader Email — The Fetal Position: A Prospective

Dateline Royter’s 3/10/2011-

In a plea for continuing funding for her research, Dr. Elita Desdemona (senior research coordinator at Harvard) asked President Obama this week to “please continue and enhance the governments funding of embryonic stem cell research.”

In her 1500 page report, Dr. Desdemona cited, “although we have not, to this day, delivered to humanity a cure for cancer, diabetes or Parkinson’s disease, it is very important that we continue our work.”  She continued, “You just never know when the day may come when a discovery will be made that will change life on earth as we know it.  Imagine the day when there will be no disease, no sickness; the great minds of this world could live on.”

She added, “Although the thought of a day when life long statesmen, and donors to the world like Edward (Ted) Kennedy and Robert Bird, would be free of mental and physical ailments sounds good, we must consider the counter of such miraculous discoveries.”

I asked Dr. Desdemona if she thought of  the implications of an over populated earth as a result of her forthcoming discoveries.  She answered, “Yes, I have thought about the implications of ‘healing the world’ via embryonic stem cell research.  Population control and its importance can not be under appreciated.”  She elaborated, “Such discoveries carry a price. Longer life in general can be a good thing or a bad thing.  One intelligent person can change the world, yet one ignorant person may spend his life watching Nascar, driving  SUVs and going to gun shows; a waste of resources really, a waste of a life.”  She continued with a glint of hope in her eye, “Science has already discovered, through genetic mapping research, which couples are likely to produce more disease tolerant, and dare I say potentially more intelligent offspring.  Since we are all citizens of the world we need to open a dialogue.  We need to talk about responsible reproduction, we need a plan.  A plan -voluntary at first- of genetic compatibility testing.  With every new life we must determine whether the, to be born, will be likely to give to Mother Earth or take from her.  We should ask like minded responsible citizens to opt out of reproduction, or choose another more suitable genetic donor for their off spring.”  She concluded, “It’s for the good of the Earth.  To completely study the effects of such a societal shift, I must concede my opinion to the Institute for Genetics and Population Studies (IGPS), founded by my good friend Cora Weiss.”

Dateline Royter’s 3/11/2011

In a follow up to yesterday’s story on the tireless work of Dr. Elita Desdemona, this reporter commends the efficiency of the Obama administration.

In response to Dr. Desdemona’s plea for more embryonic stem cell funding, President Obama, with a stroke of a pen, not only funded the request but added to it by 1.5 billion dollars only one day after the heart felt plea of Desdemona. 

Upon signing the Executive order, President Obama proudly said, “The days of business as usual Washington politics are over.  The days of action and change are here!  Funding this project is far too important, for it to be stalled in congress.  These people need the money now, [pause, emphasis added] to continue their research, not when the partisan politicians feel like it or get around to it.  I will do all in my power as President of the United States of America, to keep the hope of a better world alive.”  

President Obama has been summarily criticized, as if in lockstep, by all nine Republican Senators for his “over-use of the Executive order,” However, CNN's latest public opinion poll shows most urban youth agree with the president's new streamlined approach to governance.  In a brief interview with a young man on the street, Yaser Talleen said, “Barack is doin’ a butt kickin' job! My assistance check has never been late; I can’t say that for that Bush guy, but he was just stupid.”

In a phone call last night, this reporter thought he was going to have the pleasure to tell Dr. Desdemona of the latest Executive order in her favor.  Unfortunately, President Obama had already text'd her on his famed Blackberry device.  However, while talking to Dr. Desdemona, I noticed a downness in her voice.  Upon further prying, she propounded with a heart stricken tone, “Getting the funding is great, and I thank the President, but I am so sad to say we are quickly running out of fetuses . . . [she corrected] embryos to perform research on.  I know we will find places to direct the funds and continue the research, as hamstrung as it may be.  It would be so much easier if we just had more embryos.”  She continued and told me the story of Pandora Scatola.

Pandora Scatola is a brave young lady.  She is very active in the community doing things such as donating her time registering voters and the like.  In January, tragedy struck her life.   While walking home from a party she claimed she was raped by a white police officer who was “lending assistance.”  Such an allegation was not a surprise to many in the neighborhood.  One young man (who in fear of retribution wished to remain nameless) commented on the allegations involving the police officer in an insolent tone, “Go figure.”

Since the case has not gone to trial she could speak no more of the incident.

The “alleged” rape has left her life in a shambles.  She has sincere issues with trust and says, “She battles hatred every day.” Above all of the emotional torment and the lifelong scars on her soul, Pandora found out she is pregnant with the rapist’s child.  “Just knowing this animals seed grows inside me makes me ill,” said Miss Scatola.  In a strange twist of fate, Pandora Scatola and Dr. Elita Desdemona have a mutual friend, a secretary at Dr. Desdemona’s office.  Her name is Toki; for sake of her anonymity we withhold her last name.  Toki shared Dr. Desdemona’s embryo shortage issue with Miss Scatola in passing.  It did not take two seconds for Pandora to connect the dots.  “I want to donate my fetus to Dr. Elita Scatola’s research.  I want something good to come out of something so terrible.”  She added, “I am going to have an abortion anyways, why not use the fetus instead of throw it away?”

As our telephone interview concluded, Dr. Desdemona left us with these final thoughts. “Miss Scatola’s sacrifice is a sincere offering…I’m touched. [her voice broke] When I told her it was not legal for me to take her fetus due to archaic laws of this land, she was very angry…almost inconsolable.  "I just want to do good," she said.  Then, I promised Pandora one thing.  I promised I would send out a plea to President Obama.  I take this news opportunity to do so. 

President Obama, please recall March, 9^th 2009.  You may not remember, but that was the date you freed the world from Bush’s medieval embryonic stem cell research policy.  That was the date you allowed us to experiment on previously frozen human embryos.  That was a great day a day of great reason, a day you delivered on your promise of hope.  I call on you to remember your reasoning that day, the reasoning spoken by most was this simple: those embryo were going to get thrown away why not use them.  Please consider the offering of my dear friend Pandora Scatola.  Please allow her to donate her embryo to research.  It will just get thrown away.  Why not use it?  What’s the difference?  In a brief private email to the President, he said he would consult newly appointed Supreme Court Chief Justice Hillary Clinton on the issue.

Numerous Hollywood insiders are donating to the “Pandy fund” to help Pandora in her fight to serve the world. 

Walt Holton       

Comments

[Philip France]

Selwyn.

This fiction, right? Extreme sarcasm, right? That I am even asking this question, with all sincerity, is extremely troubling.

[John]

Phil, it's reader email. And it is sarcasm. The sender signed his name at the bottom.

[Walt]

Sarcasm-satire was the vehicle however, the point is, the future is what we make it. Human nature is predictable and I believe the next logical step in embryonic stem cell research is fetus donation/sale for research. Obama's legalization of experimentation on previously frozen human fetuses is yet another line in the sand of humanity not to be crossed...until the wind blows the sand and the line is erased. Another example of how man without God is only a smart animal. A worthy goal of a leftist.

[Philip France]

Walt,

My intellectual and ideological twin, you are so right (thanks also to John for helping to stop my brain from spinning - I can be so gullible).

I have spent the last three months studying the incredible feat of nanotechnology that is the living cell. I have learned that cells are biological machines of incredible complexity and unspeakable efficiency. I have learned that cells perform functions in similar, yet more efficient fashion as a manufacturing plant in order to sustain life's greatest mystery: life itself. I marvel at its unpeakable and indescribable desgin (or illusion of design, if you are a secular humanist - and, if you are, the design inference is unmistakable).

The spectaclular accomplishments of nanotechnologly that I have come to greatly appreciaite exists in the simplest of life forms. I have therefore come away from my studies with an ever deeper and more profound appreciation for life; not only in its simplest forms (i.e. sponges and bacteria) but to its greatest accomplishments (i.e. the human race).

To God be the glory.