Reader Email: Turn Back the Rahmulans! (A Satire by a Nerd)

After their sweeping Proconsul victory of the “Cap and Trade” bill, led by Chief Proconsul Nazi Pelosi, at the urging of Rahmulan Emanuel, it appears the Rahmulans and Prater Obama have been turned back and have been forced to their side of the neutral zone — for a time.  The Rahmulans started their incursion into the neutral zone back on January 20^th, with the inauguration of their figurehead Prater Obama.  Cloaked in ambiguity, platitudes and faux-altruism, the Rahmulans struck fast, knowing that their numbers and intellect were far inferior to the Vulconservatives.  Although hardly a victory for the Vulconservatives, the most recent Rahmulan assault on the Universe, via Universal Health Care has been turned back, even at the urge to forge ahead by Rahmulan himself.  The Vulconservatives first goal is to expose the Rahmulan cloaking devices, so they can be seen for what they are; tyrants and villains.  Also part of the Vulconservative plan is once the cloak starts to weaken, assault the enemy with logic, reason and Truth.  Such an assault will surely unite the Federation and insure victory. 

It has long been rumored an alliance between the Rahmulans and the Borg, although few believe such a brotherhood exists.  Vulconservative intelligence has proven such a link, and believes that although the Proconsul, the Prater and his staff, and a few other Rahmulans are unlikely to assimilate to the collective of the Borg; they see assimilation of the masses as the only way to secure their victory.  Vulconservatives that have studied similar assimilation processes to the collective know that once the Borg Queen has established military dominance, resistance is futile.  Additionally, to best serve the collective often those who helped them secure power are slaughtered wholesale as a measure of protection.  What’s more, genocide against those who are not considered productive or assimilable or are considered resistors is also common.  History has proven such alliances like the one between the Rahmulans and the Borg cannot survive on their own merits and must imperialize other planets to survive since they do not create, advance or produce — only eat.

Vulconservatives!  We must expose the cloak of the Rahmulans.   Logic and Truth exist absolutely! They are weapons that cannot be defeated if used properly.  We must hone our skills; we must condition our mind and body because the finest sword in the hand of a child is nearly useless.   We must expose the cloak and put down this frontal attack so that we and our children may, “Live long and prosper.” 

Walt Holton

Comments

[Philip France]

Walt,

This was brilliant satire! My compliments.

We need further exposure of the Rahmulan's brother, Dr. Ezekiel Emmanuel, an absolute vampire and this Holdren character.

These sadists hate humantity!

I am telling anyone listening. Presumptive President Barack Hussein Sotoero is the enemy of humanity. He and his agenda MUST be stopped. House Shrieker Nazi Lugosi must be removed. The woman is a certifiable lunatic psychopath.

Wake up, America and take back our Constitutional Republic while it still is one!

[Walt]

Thanks Philip I had fun writing it. You know the funny thing is most people do not even know who Rahm Emanuel is. They could not pick the Devil out of a line up if he breathed fire right on them. Our voting populous for the most part is clueless and that’s why the word "change" went as far as it did in the last election. Our fore fathers saw the potential for such ignorance spawned by decadence and made allowances in the Constitution to prevent our nation from being ruled as a pure democracy/mobocracy/idiocracy. The 17th amendment to the Constitution was a direct assault on the protection of our government that our founders built in to it. However, a large percentage of those who voted for Obama are quite advanced. So advanced in fact they have evolved to the point that a full vocabulary in not needed to express themselves. Through voice deflection and the use of one word they can express disgust, pleasure, anger, bewilderment sorrow, and so much more. The word they use is..."Dude" That is who got this alien into the Whitehouse, who hired Rahm Emanuel, who pushes this Anti-American agenda, who swallowed a fly...I guess they'll die.

[Philip France]

My dear friend Walt,

In your reply to me you made another profound statement:

"They could not pick the Devil out of a line up if he breathed fire right on them."

This statement hearkens me back to the early 1970's where two movies competed for the Academy Award (I do not know which won and I care less which did).

The first of these movies was "The Exorcist" which reminded and admonished America that there was a devil and that this devil was evil.

However, it was the other movie that more accurately portrayed the devil, albeit accidentally.

In "The Exorcist" the devil was portrayed as blatantly and obviously evil. He was grotesque and abhorrant.

In its rival movie, two slick and handsome men mastered the "art" of the con. They cornered the market on deception to the degree that they conned even the best of the con-men. That movie was "The Sting".

My compliments once again on your brilliant satire and for making it to Selwyn's front page.

Your eternal friend,

Philip France