WORLD—The world is in disbelief today upon hearing the news that Dr. Fauci, also known as the living embodiment of SCIENCE itself, has come down with COVID.
"How could this happen? What if SCIENCE dies? We'll be lost! LOST WITHOUT SCIENCE!" cried Brian Stelter on CNN. "What does this mean? Is Fauci—blessings upon him—merely a human? I don't know what's true anymore!" Brian then curled up on the couch to have a good cry and watch A Christmas Kiss 2 on the Hallmark Channel.
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